Guest Post by Alex Allman
Believing that you are a fabulous lover and that what you are doing FEELS GREAT to your partner is absolutely MAGICAL. (How to make her ask you for sex….)
Of course this is not a 100% thing, and there are things you can do that simply feel irritating to your lover (this will be different for different humans), but if you are doing something your lover might enjoy… and you have a strong belief that it’s driving them up the wall with pleasure… it will.
This is also true of whether or not something is a turn-on for your partner. Your clear and obvious belief that it’s hot (and the fact that it’s super-hot for you), and your lack of insecurity or doubt will almost always be a turn-on for your partner.
On the other hand, when you are tentative or doubtful, it will almost never work well.
For example, if you are trying an oral sex technique and you’re tentative or worried about your partner’s enjoyment, instead of, “Ummm… oooohhhh…”, you’re more likely to hear, “what’s wrong?”
Or worse, if there is something that really turns you on that you want to share with your partner, but you have deep doubts or fears about it… That attitude can kill what otherwise might have been great shared fun if you believed he/she would have enjoyed it.
Sex really is a case where “magical thinking” can work.
If you really believe that licking your girlfriends earlobe can give her an orgasm, and it turns you on to do it… there’s an excellent chance that you’ll give her her first ear-gasm (and either way, she’s probably going to love it!).
Yes, of course, some things work better than others, but all things being equal, there are few things that are better for great sex than your “magical thinking” belief that you’re great in bed.
(Check out my new “Revolutionary Sex” program if you want ideas on things that work better than others and how to dramatically improve your “beliefs” if they are negative).
Now let’s take this one level deeper…
Believing your way to great sex also has a “Sexual Polarity” spin to it. You can express both masculine (giving/penetrating) and feminine (receiving,surrendering) with this idea.
When a woman strongly believes that her man is great in bed, and deeply trusts that what he is doing is going to launch her into outer space and galaxies of pleasure… it does!
Her belief also reinforces his belief, and his belief reinforces her belief.
The belief in his masculine ability to give her pleasure becomes surrender itself and brings forth even more of his masculine energy.
(And, of course, there’s no reason that this can’t go in both directions when the male partner is receiving and in his feminine sexual polarity… the sexual terms in this case do not refer to whether you were born with a cock or a pussy).
Learning how to invent belief with the power of your mind is the trick, and it works (much) better if you are both playing the same game. A woman’s lack of belief in her man makes it much harder for him to create and maintain his belief, and vice versa.
But when you get it right, it really is magical how much more powerful your orgasms can become, how much faster you can become aroused, and how much more fun you can have making love together.
This article is ©2014 by Life Love Passion Inc and free under the Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 License and you may freely copy, distribute, blog, or post it anywhere, so long as the work is attributed to “RevolutionarySex.com” and “Alex Allman”, and the text is unaltered.