Still smoking hot.
We are in until it isn’t fun anymore and honestly, I am a much happier human being now that I am single and have a sex life again. Not just some average sex life, no. I have a sex life that would make a woman half my age green with envy.
My anxiety level is down, I am more confident and my creativity is going through the roof. I got a new job and my writing is flowing, so to speak. I have no play book for walking out this friends with benefits arrangement so it has its challenges. But so does life as a couple.
At this date, it is working for both of us. I continue to remind myself that the climaxes are all in me, in my body. It is not him that does it. It is me in response to him. Erotica frees me to experience the pleasure without him. That makes it work for me.
And when we are finally together it is so fucking hot and we play for as long as we want. He is skilled and patient and tells me I deserve to feel like this and that it is his delight to be the person who is waking this up in me.
Now that I am sexual again (after being married to a man without a sex drive for many years) I have a healthy sexual appetite and with an out of town lover, a girls gonna do what a girls gonna do. A relationship is not what I want. I don’t have the bandwidth to sustain a handshake at the moment.
And, ironically, I do my best fucking writing when he’s been gone a long time, go figure.
Last night I wanted to see him. I was stamping my inner foot and whining big time that I can’t see him whenever I want. Even though I know it is hotter for both of us on this infrequent friends with benefits roller coaster ride. So instead of feeling sorry for myself, I wrote myself right into super solo sex and climaxed my little heart out. Here is what I wrote:
But I Want You Now
Email to Him. He is in Europe on assignment and out of cell range.
I miss you so much. I have to be honest. I do. But I know in the deepest place in me that not seeing you is best.
We are not a couple.
I accept that. Deep breath. But I still miss you.
I crave you. I want your hands on me. I start to wiggle and squirm just thinking about you. I hate when I can’t have you.
But then the desire for you swims from inside and I am reminded that all the sexual turn on is in ME. It feels amazing to think about you and your kisses. I miss the kisses the most.
Then I write and my body spasms with mini orgasmic waves that fuel the words. I love to write like this thinking of your mouth and where it goes, your tongue and where it swirls and begs entry.
I bite my lip and my breath is in my throat. Where are you tonight? I know next time will be worth every second of waiting. But I hate the waiting. Shivers run up and down my back I am so turned on right now.
It’s easy for me to pretend you are here. Watching me write. Sitting in the chair across the porch smoking your cigarette smiling and nodding, hand in your lap caressing yourself. That is even hotter.
I want to come over to you but you say, no, keep writing. I keep looking up at you and want to touch you myself. I am so hungry for the taste of you. I don’t want to wait.
It won’t be long you say, you are so beautiful when you cum. I just want to watch you.
I stammer an ok not at all sure of myself. I close my eyes, lean back on the pillows and raise my arms over my head. yes, you say, yes Angel…that’s it let it happen.
My hand drifts between my legs and I cup my pussy like you do. I need so little touch and the waves hit. Yes, yes…please come to me I plead. I want you here I want to feel your skin on me. I want to kiss you.
Not yet, soon Angel.
My head falls back again and my legs widen. Breathing faster, my hips lift and press against my hand. I bring my other hand to cup my breast and pinch and roll my nipple just like you do.
Oh baby, that is hot, you say as you unzip your shorts and take your stiff self out and start to stroke and touch yourself. You are right, I say, this is very very hot.
My hips are circling in the same rhythm your hand is riding, sliding and pulling…small groans escape your throat and I moan too I love to watch you when you are turned on.
Please won’t you come over here now. Its long enough….come on baby….
No you whisper no no. I want you to finish go for it. Imagine my cock outlining the outside of you. Gently circling never entering. Wet slippery round and round.
I want you I tremble and cry. Please I want you.
You lean over me and your mouth takes the place of your cock. Yes I want you…you whisper…. I want to taste you kiss you. Open your legs more, let me in.
You tease me you wicked man. I want your sweet ass in my hands. Where the fuck are you?
Don’t you dare come a minute too soon.
I am thriving while I wait.
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